Audio data from various sources, detailing the events which occurred at SITE2 on day 977.
MAJOR INSIGHT INTO:
- Relationship dynamics between ENTITY1, ENTITY2, ENTITY6, and ENTITY7
- ENTITY6 & ENTITY7 pre-limn recollections
MINOR INSIGHT INTO:
- ENTITY4 perspective (or line of sale)
- ENTITY3 capacity for action
IMPORTANT NOTES:
- The specifics of what the limn removed from the memories of ENTITY6 and ENTITY7 are becoming more clearly sketched, but we are still left to wonder precisely how they understand ENTITY1’s final year of tertiary education.
Hi everyone! Blue here. I want to tell you about Camp Lilac real quick. Camp Lilac is a summer camp in Ohio which welcomes transgender and gender nonconforming kids ages 12-17. Essentially, trans camp! In Ohio.
For those 18 and up, we are also always looking for volunteer counselors. The camp is now re-opening its onsite location for Summer 2022. I will be attending the staff this year, and we hope to invite more people to this friendly space which welcomes self expression.
If this interests you, registration for 2022 is now open. Links to the fundraiser and sign-ups are in this episode’s description and on our website mayfieldandbelov.com.
Mayfield & Belov is not directly affiliated with Camp Lilac, but I wanted to take the moment to boost this thing which is important to me.
I’d also like to take a moment to thank everyone who sent in their audio to help create the crowd for this episode. This was monumental and very special. A link to the full list of names is also in the description.
Thank you for your time! Enjoy the episode.
–
Mayfield and Belov presents: Camp Here and There.
Episode Thirty: The Basket Case of the Nurse’s Building
[CLICK]
[CLOCK TICKING]
JEDIDIAH
The time is approximately 10:25AM on the 6th of July. I’m Jedidiah A. A. Martin, co-nurse at Camp Here and There. I am recording a session of conflict mediation between… two repeat offenders who can never seem to agree on anything. In accordance with the terms of my employment, I’m dying on the fucking cross for you two again. Fifth time in two Summers, guys.
YVONNE
Lay off, dude.
JOSHUA
Hey, what’s this co-nurse stuff? Aren’t you Sydney’s assistant?
[JEDIDIAH BREATHES LOUDLY IN ANNOYANCE]
JEDIDIAH
I am Jedidiah Martin, assistant nurse at Camp Here and There. Happy?
JOSHUA
Mhm.
JEDIDIAH
Names and perspectives.
YVONNE
Ahh! Ah. Right. Okay. Yeah. Right. Ummmmm.
JOSHUA
Maybe I should go first?
YVONNE
I can do it!
JEDIDIAH
We are not having this debate again. Yvonne, you first.
YVONNE
Okay. Uhmm… I’m Yvonne Marley. As you know. And me and Joshua have got… big problems.
JEDIDIAH
Yes, well, I assumed as much…
YVONNE
It’s this — Elephant Guy! You know? We have to… everyone’s all confused about this Elephant Man thing. It’s a big deal.
JOSHUA
Huge deal.
YVONNE
And me and Joshua, we — we just can’t figure out what to tell the kids! It’s like… do we tell them the whole truth? Or do we just try to tell them something comforting?
JOSHUA
That’s the issue.
YVONNE
And I think we should try not to scare them. I’m like the Salem of us.
JOSHUA
That’s you!
YVONNE
We should just tell them something to keep them comfortable and happy! Is my thing. 🙂
JOSHUA
🙂
YVONNE
🙂
JEDIDIAH
Alright. That… okay. Sure. Joshua?
JOSHUA
Yeah, baby, my turn. I’m Joshua MacHeath, and I think Yvonne is a big… dump. I think, we shouldn’t even worry about how the kids “feel”! I think we should just tell ‘em everything! Hell, make stuff up! Right? ‘Cos the kids, you know, what they hate more than anything is being left in the dark about big camp business. Yvonne just doesn’t get that. Isn’t she so unreasonable?
YVONNE
You’re unreasonable, you… dick… wart.
JOSHUA
Fuck trumpet!
YVONNE
Wimpy little bitch.
JOSHUA
O—ow… [Whisper] pull your punches a bit, huh… ?
JEDIDIAH
Okay, guys…
YVONNE AND JOSHUA
[IN A SYNCOPATED MONOTONE] Help us, Jedidiah.
JEDIDIAH
Just let Sydney speak for himself. The Elephant Man is his issue, right? He would appreciate being handed the reins on his own narrative.
YVONNE
Ah…
JOSHUA
Uhm…
YVONNE
Right…
JOSHUA
But the problem with that is… uh…
JEDIDIAH
Hey, if my solution is imperfect, I’m open to feedback.
YVONNE
It’s just — it’s —
JOSHUA
It’s fine, it’s just —
YVONNE
It’s so —
JOSHUA
Maybe too perfect? A little bit?
YVONNE
Maybe that.
JEDIDIAH
Alright, guys. It’s been fun. I’ve got work to do, so, ah… meeting adjourned?
[JEDIDIAH BEGINS TO STAND]
YVONNE
Wwwwwait —
JOSHUA
Hey, Jedidiah, remember when Sydney and I were roommates in college?
JEDIDIAH
[With disdain] All too well.
[HE SITS]
YVONNE
He hated you.
JOSHUA
He did. After the first semester, he requested a solo dorm.
YVONNE
Anyone would’ve done the same.
JOSHUA
I was a big loser! You hated me too, right, Jedidiah?
JEDIDIAH
What is your game here? Is this some kind of psyop?
YVONNE
We just wanna reminisce!
JOSHUA
Just some good old college-day reminiscence. Just some old pals sittin’ down and talkin’ about bygones. What’s wrong with that?
JEDIDIAH
I don’t exactly… it — it wasn’t a good part of my life. It doesn’t make me happy to think about it.
YVONNE
Awwwww, what about our adventures together?
JEDIDIAH
We… it’s… I mean, you were probably the best thing about college.
YVONNE
Remember you were scared of me at first?
JEDIDIAH
I was not scared of you. I just… didn’t know how to talk to people.
YVONNE
Don’t bluff. You were terrified of me because you were a good little Christian boy and I was a party goth.
JEDIDIAH
I… I was desensitized to the goth stuff because of Sydney. He exposed me to the fancy clothes and the shitty music for years before I met you.
YVONNE
Okayyyyyyy, but you have to admit, my hair freaked you out.
JEDIDIAH
… Your hair might have freaked me out a little bit.
YVONNE
Heh.
JOSHUA
Me too, dude. To this day. She picks the weirdest colors… hurts my eyes, Yvonne.
YVONNE
Oh, shut up.
JOSHUA
You shut up!
JEDIDIAH
Seriously, though, guys, what is this all about?
YVONNE
Do you remember — oh, my God, do you remember —
JOSHUA
What? What? Do I know this story?
YVONNE
Yeah, dude, you were totally there.
JOSHUA
[Gleeful] Eee!
[JEDIDIAH SIGHS]
YVONNE
Like, I tried to get Jedidiah to come to parties all the time, right? He was always, like, too scared and awkward or whatever —
JEDIDIAH
I was trying to make the most of my college education.
YVONNE
But one day, God, I guess I caught him in a good mood, because he finally said yes.
JOSHUA
Oh my God, is this the time he put on that —
YVONNE
Shush. Shush. So I got him to come to this party, and it was being held in, like, someone’s common room, and they had a DJ. And they let the attendees take turns requesting tracks. Anything that could be found online.
JEDIDIAH
Oh my God.
JOSHUA
Oh my God, it’s this one!
JEDIDIAH
Why here? Why now?
YVONNE
And everyone wanted Jedidiah to pick a track, because they were all so excited to see the guy with the cross necklace come out of his shell. I mean, I think some of them were hoping he’d pick a Jesus song.
JOSHUA
Oh, that would’ve been funny.
JEDIDIAH
Did I do something wrong? Are you punishing me?
YVONNE
He picked something even better, though. Anyway, he kept saying no at first, but after a couple of hours he was kind of drunk.
JEDIDIAH
Auuughhg.
YVONNE
And finally he said yes. And the track he put on…
JOSHUA
It was like — this weird, orchestral… like, nature song from a video game… ?
YVONNE
It was ambient music from the Skyrim soundtrack.
JOSHUA
YES!
YVONNE
And he danced to it.
JOSHUA
Like an interpretive dance about the epic history and lore of this video game world.
JEDIDIAH
I… cannot believe that you remember this.
YVONNE
How could we forget!?
JOSHUA
Oh, oh, guys, fuck, I have a story. [As he tells this “story”, he starts out enthusiastic, but grows less so as he realizes that what he’s saying is insane] Me and Sydney would play this game — Sydney would toss cafeteria hot dogs on the floor of our dorm, and he would tell me I did it and make me pick them up. And then when I brought them back to him, I would, like, joke hit on him, like “Will you date me now?”, right, like now that I — picked up a hot dog for you — and it was a joke, I mean, kind of, and he would always just, like… laugh and call me names. Like, really nasty words that I don’t know if I’m… allowed to say.
[SILENCE]
JEDIDIAH
Jesus, Joshua.
YVONNE
Hearing that made me feel sick.
JOSHUA
I’m sorry.
YVONNE
You’re sick.
JOSHUA
Okay.
JEDIDIAH
Guys, please… this — this really isn’t fun for me, and you obviously have some kind of ulterior motive, so can we please just — drop the charade and… why are you two really here?
JOSHUA
Uh…
YVONNE
Fine. Jedidiah, listen… we want to talk to you.
JOSHUA
Yeah. And the only opportunity we get is these mediation sessions.
JEDIDIAH
You just… wanted to have a chat?
YVONNE
No — I mean, yes, I like chatting with you and I want to do it more, but — today, it’s more like… we’re worried about you.
JOSHUA
You’ve always been kind of neurotic, but…
YVONNE
Lately, you’re clearly falling apart. I haven’t seen you so openly stressed out since… well, your last year of college. And we all know how that went.
JEDIDIAH
You… really don’t.
YVONNE
I don’t know every little detail. But I know it was bad. This time, I want to try and help you before it gets that bad again.
JOSHUA
Yeah. And, to be real… I wanna know what’s up with Sydney lately. I’m worried about him too. If there’s any way I can help him…
JEDIDIAH
[Laughing with incredulity] Joshua… you want to help Sydney?
JOSHUA
Dude… don’t act like I’m like… [He’s a bit too offended to put this into words]
YVONNE
Yes, he does. And I want to help you. So come on… what’s going on?
JEDIDIAH
[Sigh] I… this is… sweet. It’s… nice to know you care. I—I mean that.
YVONNE
[Kindly] Of course.
JEDIDIAH
But talking about it isn’t going to help. So… I have to say no. Sorry.
JOSHUA
[Disdainfully] Of course.
YVONNE
Jedidiah… are we friends?
JEDIDIAH
Um.
YVONNE
Do you consider me a friend?
JEDIDIAH
Yes. Of — of course.
YVONNE
Well, then act like it.
JEDIDIAH
I…
YVONNE
I know you’ve never been much for confiding, Jedidiah, but fuck, I don’t even feel like I know you anymore! If you think of us as friends, then you need to actually have a friendship with me.
JOSHUA
She’s been waiting to say that all summer.
YVONNE
Shut up. But… yeah, I have.
JEDIDIAH
Alright. I guess I… mmn. I’m sorry, Yvonne. You’re… right… that I haven’t been present… in anyone’s lives like a real friend should. I’ll… put more effort in.
YVONNE
Thank you.
JEDIDIAH
What exactly did you want to know?
YVONNE
Where did Sydney really go when he went missing?
JEDIDIAH
I don’t know.
JOSHUA
Why has he been acting so strange ever since?
JEDIDIAH
Probably possibly because he’s been having secret meetings with the Elephant Man?
JOSHUA
Who is the Elephant Man?
JEDIDIAH
I have no idea.
YVONNE
But we know Sydney has talked to him?
JEDIDIAH
Not… really, it’s just a guess.
JOSHUA
Then why did Sydney say he wasn’t a threat the other day?
JEDIDIAH
I don’t know.
YVONNE
Is Sydney plotting something with the Elephant Man? Is that why he’s acting so weird?
JEDIDIAH
I don’t know.
YVONNE
I find it really hard to believe that you don’t know anything.
JEDIDIAH
What do you want me to say, Yvonne? Sydney hasn’t told me a Goddamn thing for the past week.
JOSHUA
Are you guys fighting?
JEDIDIAH
… I don’t know.
YVONNE
That sucks. Must be annoying.
JEDIDIAH
It’s… complicated. I don’t blame him for it.
JOSHUA
Why?
JEDIDIAH
It’s pretty much my fault.
YVONNE
So he’s ignoring you because he’s mad at you for something?
JEDIDIAH
Yes. Probably.
JOSHUA
Well what’s he mad about?
JEDIDIAH
I… uhm.
YVONNE
Because you avoid him all the time?
[JEDIDIAH INHALES]
YVONNE
Why do you do that?
JEDIDIAH
I — I can’t —
JOSHUA
Have you ever kissed him?
JEDIDIAH
Wow.
YVONNE
Don’t be a creep.
JOSHUA
I’m just saying, like… weren’t you two dating at one point?
JEDIDIAH
No. Not… technically.
YVONNE
Not technically?
JOSHUA
What the hell does that mean?
JEDIDIAH
It’s complicated.
YVONNE
Just sounds annoying.
JEDIDIAH
No, listen… it’s not his fault.
JOSHUA
So it’s yours? It’s your fault?
JEDIDIAH
No, well, it’s not — I —
YVONNE
You guys have always had issues like this, and you always avoid them until they blow up in your face. Why do you do that? Why can’t the two of you just talk things out?
JOSHUA
Do you need a mediator? I’ll be the mediator.
JEDIDIAH
Listen, Yvonne, Jesus, I… Sydney is… he’s hard, he’s hard to know and hard to care about. That’s — a horrible thing to say, and I keep my mouth shut because I don’t want to say it, but he… is… our relationship… I… it — it — he needs… help… he needs more help than a single person could possibly provide. And that’s not his fault… all he ever asked for was what he needed… but I couldn’t give it to him, or I couldn’t give it to him while still being sane, and — and the proof is right in front of you, because I tried giving him everything he needed and I flunked out of college and I ended up working for my fucking mom. And I’m still the only thing resembling a support system that Sydney has. And it’s… too much. Too much for him, too much for me. And I can’t just… run away… but we can’t keep living like this, so… I’ve been trying to fix it. But I don’t know. I don’t know.
[SILENCE]
YVONNE
Wow. Um… okay. I… that is… a lot to deal with.
JOSHUA
If he makes your life so much harder, why don’t you just cut him off?
JEDIDIAH
[Chuff] No.
JOSHUA
Why not?
JEDIDIAH
It’s out of the question.
YVONNE
Why?
JEDIDIAH
Sydney is more than just a burden. I — love him. I don’t want to lose him.
JOSHUA
Hm.
YVONNE
Hm.
JOSHUA
The thing that you’re doing wrong here is keeping Sydney in this weird friendship-limbo.
YVONNE
If you aren’t willing to act like someone’s friend, then it’s wrong to feed them false hope that you might still have a connection with them.
JOSHUA
Yes, she’s right.
YVONNE
I’m always right.
JOSHUA
Can you let me have something for once?
YVONNE
Don’t be self-centered.
JOSHUA
I’m self-centered?
[A DULL, QUIET VOICE AND RUMBLING CROWD CAN BE HEARD FROM OUTSIDE, GRADUALLY RISING IN VOLUME AND ENTHUSIASM]
YVONNE
Yes. Anyways, I’m right, Jedidiah.
JOSHUA
She’s right.
YVONNE
Friendship takes effort.
JOSHUA
Or you don’t be his friend.
JEDIDIAH
You guys don’t understand, I… even if I didn’t care about losing him, cutting him off would not be an option. I’m responsible for his well being, you get it? My parents sunk hundreds of thousands of dollars into paying for his college… I — he wouldn’t have passed his classes without me — he… he wouldn’t have survived if I hadn’t stayed with him on certain nights. He has a job here, a place to stay, a steady supply of money and food, because of me… you know Lucille; if she thought Sydney had fallen out of my good graces, he would be out of a job and home! I would be leaving him… with nothing. And none of this, none of this, is his fault… it is not his fault. His life, his parents, the circumstances of his birth, have left him… have… have left him without the resources or ability to take care of himself, and he hates that more than I do, and it’s not his fault, but he needs me. He needs me, and I love him. I love him… more than anything, and I cannot do that to him.
[CROWD ROARS]
I just can’t… God fucking dammit, what is going on outside!?
YVONNE
I don’t know…
[JEDIDIAH STANDS]
JEDIDIAH
I’m going out there. Session — session over.
[JEDIDIAH WALKS OUTSIDE AND OPENS THE DOOR, TO WHICH THE VOICE GROWS LOUDER. SOUNDS OF A CROWD MUMBLING CAN BE HEARD]
ELIJAH
And I stand before you on this rooftop, gazing down upon your circle of cabins, to deliver the good news! It’s sacred knowledge I’ve been cradling close to my chest for years, and I’ve deemed it prudent to share it with you all right here and now! Hear me! Trust in me! Learn the truth — that the world we live in exists in tribute to the perfect beauty of our divine Muse! You know him… you are blessed to bear him for every day you spend in this holy place… yet you shun him! Dismiss him! Blaspheme upon his name! Hear! Me! What are you worth without him? What are you in the eyes of the universe, for all your ignorance and neglect, but a sorry bunch of cattle? Nay; from this day forth, you will revere him as he was always meant to be revered. Be grateful! For Our Muse resides in this place, in body and spirit!
Who inspires the waters to flow over hills and down our throats? Our Muse! Who inspires the soil to pack together, to form a ground upon which we may walk? Our Muse! Who inspires the trees to fruit, to provide us with food to eat? Our Muse!
Our Muse!
[THE CROWD STARTS CHEERING OUR MUSE! ALONGSIDE ELIJAH]
Our Muse! Our Muse! Our Muse! Our Muse! Our Muse!
Tomorrow, I am hosting a ceremony for all who wish to join our world in venerating the Muse! If we love him, the Earth will love us in turn! Together, poor cattle, you will become my sheep! We will pay our dues and earn the love of our planet! No more storms! No more fire, disease, rot, or betrayal! No more apocalypse! All thanks to our Muse! Our Muse!
[OUR MUSE!]
Come! Tomorrow night… Come! Chant with me! Our Muse! Our Muse! Our Muse! Our Muse! Our Muse!
[THE CROWD BEGINS ROARING WITH APPLAUSE]
JEDIDIAH
Lucille? There you are. Are you going to do something about this?
[LUCILLE IS HEARD WALKING AWAY]
[OUR MUSE] [OUR MUSE] [OUR MUSE]
JEDIDIAH
Lucille… ?
[OUR MUSE] [OUR MUSE] [OUR MUSE] [OUR MUSE] [OUR MUSE] [OUR MUSE] [OUR MUSE]
[CLICK]
Today’s episode was written by Blue Mayfield and Nicholas Belov. The part of Jedidiah Martin was played by Nicholas Belov. The part of Yvonne Marley was played by Emily Safko. The part of Joshua MacHeath was played by Ty Coker. The part of Elijah Volkov was played by Ryan Henning.
Camp Here & There is the sole intellectual property of its production company, Mayfield & Belov. All music composed by Will Wood, and produced by Jonathon Maisto. Sound editing by Emily Safko and Blue Mayfield. Special thanks to our Patrons: Navaeh T, Saul, Ben Farkas, Absolutely an Axolotl, Moonlight Schemes, and Deez.
For behind-the-scenes material, exclusive canonical content, interactive events, and early episode access, consider signing up for our Patreon at patreon.com/mayfieldandbelov. Our discord server is a great place to meet like-minded fellows and discuss today’s episode — find the link at mayfieldandbelov.com. Lastly, if you’d like to support us, the best thing you can do is to spread the word about the show.
Thank you for listening to Camp Here & There! And remember: [WHEEZE].